i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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