i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
