idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize