What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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