Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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