They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
