The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
PS: I just woke up from my shower
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
