I bet he comes in French.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
