Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
