Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm really busy with my period
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