Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
