how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
organizing the empties. That sober.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The air was thick with penises
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
