She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
