What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
