Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
