I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
