Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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