My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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