it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
