You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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