Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
