I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
