At least make sure they are 18
Why
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
