whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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