Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
