Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
