Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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