Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
