MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A+ Viking dick
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
