Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
