your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
