ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
