He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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