Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
