I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
