I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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