I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
