Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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