I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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