D3 body, D1 cock
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
