You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
