Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh god it's open bar.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
