It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
