Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
