Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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