I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
