so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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