she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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