Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize