i just google imaged poop.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
