I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
