how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you traded sex for a burrito?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
