just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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