well I can't set my house on fire every night
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
