Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
