Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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