Small penises have feelings too.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
