It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
