if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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