I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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