By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
