I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
