Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
