I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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