mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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