Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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