So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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