I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
