God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
